Today’s NaBloPoMo prompt is a doozy for me. What are some lies your parents told you?
Eeesh. Talk about a CAN OF WORMS.
People who “sort of” know me will tell you that I don’t talk about my parents. People who know me pretty well will tell you that I have a bad relationship with my parents. People who know me best will tell you that I have no relationship with my parents. My relationship with my parents has never been a good one, but pretty much it is nonexistent at this point.
I can’t say that my father ever lied to me. I just don’t know him at all. It’s really quite sad – he lived in the same town as me for most of my whole life – until I was about 22, but I never really had any relationship with him. I remember visiting with him at his house when I was around 7 on weekends. I remember that my mother did not encourage me to have a relationship with him, and remember some nasty moments when I would want to talk to him, etc. I don’t know the full story, but I know I stopped visiting. My thought as a grown up is that my mother probably made it exceptionally difficult on him. As a divorced mom, I know that it can be difficult to bite your tongue and suck it up. There was no biting of lips ever in my mother’s house, and a weak person might not go through the fight that she probably put him through. So I don’t think my dad ever lied. He just wasn’t around to do it.
My mother is a whole other story. I don’t speak to my mother, and I doubt that I ever will unless there is a damn skippy good reason. My mother continues to lie – she lies to my daughter (who sees her when she visits with her dad in Oklahoma) about the kind of person she is, and she tries to lie about the kind of person I am. She continues to actively work to destroy my relationship with my daughter, which in my opinion, is pretty much the only thing I could never forgive anyone. I forgave her many, many inequities to continue to try to have a relationship with her up until my late twenties/early thirties. But it’s simply not worth it anymore. So in that respect, my “parent” has told so, so many lies to and about me, but the saddest part is is that number probably doesn’t even begin to compare to the lies that she tells herself.
My parental figures, were, essentially, my grandparents, especially my grandfather. I lived with them for two years when I was 11ish-13ish, and stayed with them much much more. I can’t remember a time that they lied to me. They are both gone now, but I was blessed to have them until within the past couple of years. So I was very, very lucky. So many of the good parts of who I am came from them, and I was blessed to have them.
Whew. So, that was a lot to put out there for me. But there it is.
So, what lies have your parents told you?